Motherhood is a love that runs deep, a responsibility that never ends, and a weight we carry in ways no one else sees. The mental load of motherhood is constant—the never-ending to-do lists, what’s everyone eating, have you picked up the dog food, oh, and feed the dogs (they gotta eat too!), the school forms, playdates, birthdays to remember, gotta get the gift too, hosting lunch for the family, and the socks that always seem to disappear in the laundry. WAAAAHHH!
Even when we sit down to rest, our minds don’t.
We hold so much, we do so much, and yet, we often place ourselves last.
Why Do We Feel Guilty Taking Time for Ourselves?
Somewhere along the way, we have been convinced that doing it all meant we were being the perfect mom. The worst enemy? Comparison.
When we compare ourselves to an unrealistic, “picture-perfect” version of motherhood, we start to believe that taking time for ourselves is selfish or, worse, that we are failing. That rest is a luxury. That a good mom should be able to handle it all.
But let me remind you of something, mama: You matter too.
The Guilt That Holds Us Back
We know we need rest. We know we need a moment to breathe, to reconnect with ourselves, to feel like a person outside of the never-ending responsibilities. But the guilt creeps in.
🌀 “There’s too much to do.”
🌀 “I should be spending time with my kids.”
🌀 “I don’t deserve a break if the house isn’t clean.”
🌀 “Other moms seem to manage it all—why can’t I?”
But here’s the truth: Taking care of yourself isn’t taking away from your family. It’s making sure you have the capacity to show up for them—fully present, fully YOU (Why Presence Matters More Than Perfection).
How to Show Up for Yourself—Without the Guilt
1. Challenge the Guilt With Truth
When guilt creeps in, ask yourself:
❓ Would I judge another mom for taking a break?
❓ Would I want my child to grow up believing that rest is selfish?
❓ Am I truly a better mom when I’m exhausted, depleted, and running on empty?
The answer is clear. We cannot pour from an empty cup. Our children learn how to treat themselves by watching us. And when we model self-care, we show them that they, too, are worthy of care.
2. Make Small, Daily Investments in Yourself
Self-care doesn’t have to be extravagant or time-consuming. Some of the most meaningful acts of self-care happen in the small moments we reclaim for ourselves (Finding Joy in the Everyday Chaos).
Try:
🌿 5 deep breaths before you walk into a room.
🌿 A hot cup of tea (and actually finishing it).
🌿 A 10-minute walk outside, feeling the fresh air on your skin.
🌿 Putting your phone down and allowing yourself to be fully in the moment.
🌿 Writing down one thing you’re grateful for each day.
You don’t need hours—you need intention. Start small. Build from there.
3. Advocate for Your Needs (and Set Boundaries Without Guilt)
We spend so much time advocating for our kids—their emotions, their rest, their needs. But how often do we advocate for ourselves?
💬 Ask for help when you need it.
💬 Say no to things that drain you.
💬 Set boundaries that protect your peace.
💬 Communicate your needs with your partner or support system.
Saying “I need time for myself” is not weakness. It’s strength. It’s self-respect. And it’s essential.
4. Let Go of the Need to “Do It All”
You don’t have to do everything perfectly. You don’t have to check off every box to be a good mom. Sometimes, “good enough” is more than enough (Why Time Is the Real Treasure in Motherhood).
💡 Let the dishes sit for a little while.
💡 Allow yourself to rest instead of finishing every task.
💡 Recognise that your worth is not measured by productivity.
You Deserve to Be Cared For, Too
At the end of the day, how we show up for ourselves is how we show up for our families. When we nurture ourselves, we nurture the energy and love we bring into our home.
✨ You are not a machine.
✨ You are not failing if you need rest.
✨ You are allowed to take up space, have needs, and prioritise yourself.
Because you matter too, mama. And the more you believe that, the more you’ll step into motherhood with presence, with peace, and with the deep knowing that you are enough—exactly as you are.
Let’s Keep the Conversation Going
I’d love to hear from you. How do you show up for yourself? What’s one small way you take care of YOU in the midst of motherhood? Let’s support each other in this journey—because we are better when we lift each other up.
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